#Monday Musings

Eyes droopy, puffy eyes, dark circles waiting to make an appearance, that's my look on a Monday for you. No, it's not because I am hungover from a late Sunday night party. It's because I cannot sleep on a Sunday night. I simply cannot. I suffer from a weird kind of sleep anxiety that occurs and reoccurs every Sunday night, leaving me hopelessly sleepy every Monday.

No, I do not suffer from Monday blues, on the contrary I suffer from the exciting-Monday-morning-syndrome! A syndrome that hits me right when I rest my head on my soft purple pillow on a Sunday night.


For me, Monday is like a magical door that opens to bring everything I have been hopeful for in the past week. In my mind, I want to start off the week with the enthusiasm of a child, energy of a teenager, the attitude to have fun like someone my age but in reality I end up being worse than an elderly person,wanting to sleep the whole day. Too much excitement is also too bad? I know.


Ever since I have observed that I have difficulty sleeping on Sunday nights, I have a Sunday routine that I follow:

• Sleep as less as possible on Saturday night/ Sunday morning. I will force myself out of bed by 10 a.m, even if I would have slept only by 5a.m. I know I extremely cruel on myself. 
• Do all kinds of activities to tire myself out. The only reason why my room, my cupboard, my shoe stand are organized. 
• Strictly no naps in the afternoon. Even if my Dad's loud snores allure my eyes to shut, I fight hard to keep them open.
• No caffeine post 7p.m. Even if Bangalore weather demands me to consume some amazing tea and pakodas.
• Read and read a lot, numbing my mind to feel sleepy enough.

Once I follow these diligently, I sure as hell feel sleepy and with a satisfaction in my heart about the great sleep that I will get to enjoy, I make myself cozy on the bed, set the fan to the perfect speed, shut the door, turn off the lights and doze off to slumber-land. NOT!

My brain decides to go on a trip of its own. It starts off by thinking about what I should wear the next day, which shoes would go with that outfit. To determine that, I start thinking about the meetings that are planned for the day. This reminds me of the pending work, which reminds me of office in general and I start analyzing the things my friends and I have discussed throughout the week. I also remember the things I would have thought of telling them over the weekend. I start thinking if the guy I have a huge crush on will come to work tomorrow. I think about the cute glances of his during breakfast. Which sets me thinking if I should ask my mom to pack breakfast or have it in the cafeteria.

I am then reminded of the new tuck shop at work, I think of the things my cab mates asked me to try. I remember the stories I have to narrate to my cab friends. I remember I have to go to my flute lessons with my cab friend, I pray and hope he has finished practicing his lesson, because I have. My mind then drifts to my music class and how patient our teacher is. I am then reminded of some amazing musical competitions I witnessed in college with a former friend of mine. I start thinking about college and all the fun. I miss it sometimes, some people also.

I then think of how complex human ego is, how we choose ego over relationships. How relationships are nothing but FB and Instagram posts these days. I start wondering if people are trying to live up to their FB reality or is their reality really like it is on FB? I realize nothing in the world is real. Everything and everyone is superficial. We are superficial even with our own selves. I think of the people I met over the weekend, the things I did and analyse if I was superficial or not.

I think whether or not I would put up a show on FB if I get to live a life that deserves one, I start planning and articulating my thoughts about some of my biggest dreams. I get excited about how from the time I wake up tomorrow, I get a chance to make all these ideas a reality. I cannot wait to start the day with a To Do list and tick off all the things I accomplish. I can't wait to go discuss my ideas and get a valid opinion from my friends. I can't wait to go give my best at work. I can't wait to be the whole new me, I think I will be, this week on. I know I am crazy to be excited about a Monday, but I know it is good to be a little crazy.

I open my eyes, look for my phone to check the time, I am sure I have at least 5 more hours to sleep. I look at the digital clock and gasp! It mostly is already 5:30 a.m and I have to be up by 6:30 a.m. I force my eyes shut and go into a deep sleep only to wake up in what seems like 5 minutes, feeling all groggy. I bathe, do all the morning things, dress up and get onto the cab and start my never ending story of how I can never ever ever fall asleep on a Sunday night. I meet friends at work and the story goes on. My colleagues who already know my condition, give me a sparing look but expect work to be completed on time. I pull myself through the whole day, rather insane amounts of caffeine pulls me through the whole day.

The day goes by slowly and as I tend to be sleep deprived for two days, I sleep early on Monday nights and my Tuesdays actually become those magical doors of hopeful opportunities I hype my Mondays to be. But who can tell that to my mind?!

P.S. I wrote this long post to keep myself up at work. I can barely keep my eyes open. Yawn! Mondays, damn the Mondays!


 Image source: Google Images